Everything Else

So I've been taking a course at the local uni entitled "History and Philosphy of Science." It's a 300-level course that has no prerequisites, and fulfills a graduation requirement. I enjoy the lecture, and the discussions are lively enough. The reading is, however, a different story.

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I've taken to comparing philosophical essays to gangsta rap as the essential elements of both are the same, even if the language is a bit different. That brevity makes gangsta rap preferable to reading, say, Ayer or Popper. In fact, I think I'd rather listen to gangsta rap at 110 decibles while strapped to a chair with duct tape across my bare, hairy chest, with my eyes propped open with splintery toothpicks while a large screen before me displays alternating video clips of grass growing in a cow pasture with video and still images of Iraq war casualties, all while a vacuum cleaner gnaws on my toes, than read a single page of the all-important Western Philosophy. It really is that bad. I cannot, however, get out of this class, and besides, all that other stuff would be too hard to set up and I think I need my toes for something anyhow, so I guess I'm stuck reading this dreck. Anyhow, I was sort-of asked to describe my thoughts on the subject in a single run-on sentence or two, and here it is, in proper philosophizer first-person form from the point of view of any of the practitioners of this benighted attempt at communication:

'I shall first clown the other guy, then I'll go on for six pages about how wonderful I am, then I'll write three paragraphs that don't seem to make sense until you realize that all of those are bullshit except for one sentence that actually contains the point of my essay, but only after you've deciphered Latin phrases that mean things like, "it's sunny outside," and "There's a fly in my beer again," and then I'll close with another six pages of how stupid the other guy is and how wonderful I am. It'll be great!'

You will notice that I used the appropriate form of quotation here, as it wouldn't be nearly pretentious enough to use the double-quoting method that is common to people on this side of the pond. Anyhow, that, sirs and madams, is Western Philosophy. In a nutshell. Update 7-6-05: I dropped the dadburn class today, and experienced an immediate and lasting ten-point reduction in my resting blood pressure. aaaaahhhhhhhhhh